Fascinating womanhood secrets how to#

Except, in HelenвЂ™s world, the fact that I have been a Trekkie and a NASA geek since I was four is wrong.

ItвЂ™s what happens when youвЂ™re obsessed with something like space exploration since your earliest memory, like me. Partly because I know more than my husband about the space program. DonвЂ™t appear to know more than a man does in world events, the space program, science, or industry. It may be all right to win over a man in English or social studies, but youвЂ™re in trouble if you compete with men in math, chemistry, or science. DonвЂ™t compete with them for scholastic honors in menвЂ™s subjects. First, we get rid of any вЂњstrength, ability, competence, or fearlessness.вЂќ Then we stop doing anything around the house that could possibly fall inside a вЂњmasculineвЂќ jobвЂ“ and if we have to do it, we must do it incredibly badly (вЂњdo it in a feminine mannerвЂќ and feminine = incompetent) or our husbands will вЂњnever come to our rescue.вЂќДonвЂ™t compete with men for advancement on a job, higher pay, or greater honors.

Fascinating womanhood secrets how to#

Helen goes on to tell us how to вЂњawakenвЂќ our feminine natures, and itвЂ™s as easy as 1-2-3. вЂњHe does it because you are so afraid, and he is so unafraid.вЂќ According to Helen, however, men- all men, not just abusersвЂ“ do this. He thought my legitimate fear was hysterical, and it made him feel big and bad by comparison. My abuser would do this over and over again- deliberately put me into a situation that made me feel incredibly unsafe, or do something that was life-threatening and ridiculously stupid (like doing donuts in an iced-over parking lot, or nearly breaking my neck on a jet ski), and then get an incredible kick out of my reaction. The last oneвЂ“ fearfulnessвЂ“ pisses me off. fearfulnessвЂ“ вЂњmen will, in fact, sometimes take women into danger, just to see how fearful women are.вЂќ.tendernessвЂ“ вЂњcrying, were it ever so stupid.вЂќ.dependenceвЂ“ вЂњbecause her whole purpose in life is home-oriented.вЂќ.submissivenessвЂ“ defined earlier in the book as вЂњnever having needs.вЂќ.weaknessвЂ“ physically weak, incapable of solving physical problems.The next section of the chapter is one of HelenвЂ™s listsвЂ“ all the вЂњcharacteristicsвЂќ of a feminine nature: I wish I could say it doesnвЂ™t get any worse. And not only must they feel powerful, they must be powerful, except that is only possible when a woman is incompetent. In this world, the most important thing that must be maintained at all costs is that men feel powerful. I donвЂ™t usually quote this much from the book (mostly because that would get boring pretty fast, but also because I can only legally reproduce so much of it for a critical review), but I thought it was important for all of you to see this, in the full, horrible, stark reality of HelenвЂ™s world. The apparent need of the woman for care and protection, instead of arousing contempt for her lack of ability, appeals to the very noblest feelings within him. This feeling of strength and power is one of the most enjoyable he can experience. In the presence of such weakness, he feels stronger, more competent, bigger, manlier than ever. When a man is in the presence of a tender, trustful, dependent woman, he immediately feels a sublime expansion of his power to protect and shelter this frail and delicate creature.

It is one of the most uncomfortable and humiliating sensations a man can experience, so that the woman who arouses it becomes repugnant to him. In the presence of such strength and ability in a mere woman he feels like a futile, ineffectual imitation of a man.

What happens when the average red-blooded man comes in contact with an obviously able, intellectual, and competent woman, manifestly independent of any help a man can give, and capable of meeting him or defeating him on his own ground? He simply doesnвЂ™t feel like a man any longer.